How some choices end up not being that hard after all

I am terrified and overwhelmed about the state of our nation, by the hate crimes, the loss of civil liberties, the cruelty and the dismantling of our democracy.  I feel powerless and small. I am disabled, the main provider and caretaker for my 80+ year old mother, and I have health issues that are starting to spiral out of control.

But I cannot not act. My plan is to do one thing every week. We will budget one hour each weekend to calling and writing our local reps, sending messages of support to fan friends and family, reading and learning about what is happening around us.  I want to make speaking out as much as part of me as my love for Star Trek and fan-vidding and fandom history.

I have a physical therapy routine that I must do every day of life. It is hard and discouraging because it can never counteract or fix or cure my physical decline. It hurts  every day and on some days it triggers vertigo and cognitive problems.  My rational mind  knows why I have to do the exercises but my heart sometimes wants to just lie down and stop. But eventually I have to get up because...well let's be real, I have to pee. And maybe eat something.  Turns out not peeing is not an option as long as you are still breathing.  

In other words, it took a while, but yesterday something clicked in my mind and I realized there were parallels between my failing body and our failing country. And then I realized that so many of us are in the same boat, struggling with our daily lives, feeling small, and powerless, and thinking we can do nothing stop the tsunami of hate.

I speak up because if I failed to speak up,  I would never forgive myself. I have lived in a country where I witnessed the enduring shame of the children and grandchildren of people who did not speak up. I have walked the same roads where millions traveled to their deaths and wondered what  I would do if I were faced with similar choices. 

I speak up because I want to answer that question in a way that will not haunt me today, tomorrow and beyond. 

Never Think You Are Alone

The Indivisible Guide To Resisting The Trump Agenda (a step by step guide to fighting Trump) was inspired in Austin, Texas and then crowd-sourced around a living room table in Washington DC. This is the guide that spells out in simple steps:

1. Grab a few local friends or neighbors
2. Work in shifts and haunt your local state and federal reps local events, show up in person, ask hard questions and tweet about how they are failing you (and America)

"Levin and his wife, Leah, had gone to Austin, Texas, where he grew up, for the holiday, and had met with a college friend of his, named Sara Clough, at a local bar. Clough was an administrator of a private Facebook group that describes itself as “a place for support, healing, helping, sharing, community and love in the wake of the 2016 election.” Clough and others who belonged to progressive online communities—such as Pantsuit Nation—were “trying to figure out how best to act,” Levin said. “They knew that making calls and signing petitions were helpful, but then they hit a wall. They didn’t know what else to do or how to effectively engage Congress.” It seemed to Levin that there would be value in “describing what Goldman Sachs and Exxon Mobil already know.” As former congressional staffers—until 2011, Levin was the deputy policy director for Congressman Lloyd Doggett, who represents a district in central Texas—he and his friends could “demystify” congressional influence."

The New Yorker article has a call out from North Carolina:

"But what really warm my heart are the local activists with a couple dozen followers who are jazzed up,” he said. “When someone writes, ‘To anybody else in North Carolina’s 3rd District, this is the guide we should get together and use,’ that’s just music to my ears."