Deep Thoughts On Blogging (2nd Edition) - This Is Not My Beautiful House

[morgandawn]

Oh dear..a few people had written wanting to privately discuss a previous blog entry. And since I really don't have the ability to respond to private e-mails on deep topics (I shouldn't even be spending this much time on the computer), I was going to make an edit to the post and then see if that would suffice. Which is a long-winded way of me saying I fucked up, deleted said post during the edit and have now made more work for myself.

So here it is again with the edits... I hope. And uhhh...I may not be able to respond to the comments. Or e-mails. Or rocks tossed through the windows.

*************************
I know this has been discussed before by many others. But the very act of blogging changes the dynamics of how we relate to one another - in both good and bad ways. I think the recent Strikethrough07 events that led to blogs being deleted and the subsequent discussions of whether some of our fannish activities should be allowed to exist/continue has its roots in the nature of blogging.*

Some examples: online blogging = a party.

In mailing lists, we all head over to someone else's house (some by invite/some by word of mouth). We party according to a set of rules set by the homeowner (moderator). Some parties are great and under excellent moderation. Some are lame with no moderation. Sometimes we get drunk and make asses out of ourselves. And sometimes we head off to the kitchen to do some down and dirty gossiping about those drunks in the living room. But we all know that this is someone else's house and we're guests (even if we don't behave like ones).

Blogging is like hosting a party in your own home. Sometimes you own (blog on your own website using your own server). Most of us here on LiveJournal are renting. We often party with the windows and doors open. Sometimes the doors are closed and the curtains are drawn. But we set the tone, the topics and lead the discussions. When you are in your own home you have sense of ownership, security and freedom. This means we feel free to discuss controversial topics or personal issues - but we fully expect that everyone who is on the outside looking in knows that this is our house and that it is just plain bad manners to try to stop someone else's party or toss rocks. And because it is our home, we often forget that we are dancing naked to Madonna with the windows open. So when our asshats of neighbors or the casual passerby call the police (think of the children!!) we're shocked and hurt and pissed off. Because - "hey wait, this is my own home. I am not harming anyone.** And stop looking in my windows, you pervert!"

I cannot (and won't) debate whether the asshats and or the obnoxious naked dancing neighbors are right or wrong in every possible scenario and I know that there will always need to be nuanced exceptions to the "It's my party and I'll cry write naughty fic if I want to" rules. I just found this analogy helpful to explain my own sense of vulnerability right now. I want to have a party. I want to lean out the window and chat with the passing world. I think I am being appropriate in my discussions (at least with the people who are voluntarily passing by my windows and those stopping to chat and those who choose to come into the house) - but there will be always someone out there who believes that their beliefs and their vision of the world should extend into my home.*** And I really don't know what I should do about these people? Keep on partying and chatting with the windows open? Lock the doors and windows and draw the curtains and screen the guests? Get a water gun and a big sign Trespassers Asshats will be soaked on sight (Wet T-shirt Contest Tuesday Nights)?

* -We need to shun them so we don't get associated with them!

-In my day we knew better than to let our freak flag fly free!

-What you write changes your reader: exposure to slash has made me more tolerant (although not any more approving)
of same-gender relationships. This in spite of seeing the obvious disconnect between the general health and affection in fanfic
vs the often unhealthy relationships I've seen in rl same-gender relationships.

**I am going to assume that no one is being murdered or harmed at my party and that everyone is an adult and everything is consensual. The fuzzier areas of drugs and illegal behavior like fans watching copied episodes of their favorite TV shows or reading Mary Sue fan fiction aloud to each other - let's skip that for now.

***To make it clear - if you're discussing whether (a) fan fiction or fanzines or vidding (yes there a people who disapprove of all of these activities, no matter what the subject matter and no matter what rating) or (b) incest or rape or bdsm or homosexuality or real person fiction is a good/bad thing =/= an asshat (that's a not equal sign folks!). It is those people who go on to say: not only shouldn't you be doing it -- I need to stop you - and that means no more talking about it or writing it because talking/writing = condoning and tolerating = actually doing it. Because trust me - nothing is new to the human condition. All that is different is the new visibility we have into other's hearts and minds. And while the sanctity of our hearts and heads is (IMHO) more precious than our ability to express ourselves, silencing each other is like burning down the neighbor's house. Then your own house (because remember - there will always be another neighbor out there who thinks *you* are the pervert). Then the neighborhood. And then the nation. And then we're all left shivering and naked and freezing our asses off in the cold. OMG, I just made the slippery slope argument (runs and flees).

edited to add: How's this for perspective: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6724531.stm

Comments

[jic]

I'm so sorry to ask you, what with typing being owie and all, but -- The link texts are not seeming to match the content of the destination, and so I'm confused as to whether there's one or more link missing or mismatched.

[jic]

In particular, the link to hossgal's post.

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

there you go.

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

the specific quote came from here - but I linked to toe top of the thread because I think there is a lot of discussion that leads to the quote

http://hossgal.livejournal.com/148911.html?thread=210351#t210351

Re: I find the edit insufficent

[maygra.livejournal.com]

Feel free (on all fronts!) to correct me if I'm wrong, but what I'm getting from the edits on MD's post is:

Asshat =/= if you're discussing whether (a) fan fiction or fanzines or vidding (yes there a people who disapprove of all of these activities, no matter what the subject matter and no matter what rating) or (b) incest or rape or bdsm or homosexuality or real person fiction is a good/bad thing

Asshat = those people who go on to say: not only shouldn't you be doing it -- I need to stop you - and that means no more talking about it or writing it because talking/writing = condoning and tolerating = actually doing it.

And everything above that is an assessment analogy of what she sees happening.

Fair warning: in have little or no access to LJ during the day, and limited access to personal email. Silence =/= ignoring or agreeing.

Re: I find the edit insufficent

[hossgal.livejournal.com]

As I recall the previous post, those statements were unchanged from the originial.

However, I've deleted my original comment, and will re-post to allow for that interpetation.

- hossgal

Edits! And More Edits!

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

Hey there maygra - since I don’t have the stamina to have extensive discussions via e-mail (or frankly even here in my LJ), I offered hossgal that she could (a) come here or (b) use her LJ with a link to my post --- in order to clarify her position/thoughts and then invite people to discuss with her directly. This she has done and further she has asked that people contact her through her e-mail. See: http://hossgal.livejournal.com/148911.html

My edit was to provide the exact quote from her LJ in my link and then supply a link to the top of the entry (her comment is several threads down on the page) so people can put her comments into the context of her ‘party’ she held at her’ house’ & discuss it with her further. While hossgal is only a small part of the point I was making (ex there are ongoing discussions of whether certain fannish activities should continue and that these discussions are making me feel vulnerable), I can understand any concern that says: “OMG! Yes those are my words...but... but... you have to read the whole thing to understand what I was saying.”

Re-posted reply

[hossgal.livejournal.com]

I am reposting this after re-reading the post and trying to hold Maygra's comments in mind. Many of my concerns remain, but I am trying to address them in a more diplomatic manner.

I emailed you on this issue because I did not want to critize you in public or start wank in your threads. I still hold to that. However, I think your post is still unclear and/or inaccurate.

Your post links to several people commenting, and your use of selected quotes (rather than, say, "lj user x discusses the issue here" *is* an editorial comment. As the focus of your post is *not* the discussion of 'should people object to things, and how' but rather a rail against interferring neighbors, I think it is a fair conclusion that you consider the post you linked to to be examples of interferring neighbors.

Which is highly problematic, imo, considering the post objects to passers by throwing rocks.

I felt, reading the post, and still do, that the post labelled me as an asshat. I would appreciate clarification on this, and if that was not your intention, fair enough.

The most significant edit made is the one I consider most problematic, which is your choice of quote for the link to my lj. Given the nature of the political makeup of lj, your cherry-picking of that particular quote - buried deep in an extensive discussion with other people - to use as a link seems designed to negatively color the impression of the person clicking on that link. I stand by that statement, and similar ones I have made in the past, but your use of it to characterize my entire post is a) misleading and b) a cheap shot.

My post will remain public, but comments will remain frozen and screened. We have discussed things civily in the past, and I hope we can continue to do so.

- hossgal

Re: Re-posted reply

[darkrosetiger.livejournal.com]

For the record, having gone back and read the full comment because I couldn't believe anyone would be so blatantly offensive, the context doesn't make it any less offensive. Fortunately, I neither request nor require your approval of any of my relationships, but I do appreciate your providing a concrete example of why the part of the "fandom must police itself" argument that rests on the idea that everyone agrees on community standards is false.

Drive-by comment

[i-am-schizo.livejournal.com]

Thank you for saying this. WORD! :)

Entry found via metafandom in case the OP should wonder.

[mystic-savage.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Believe it or not, I wrote my "manifesto" post before reading my f-list over the last few days, but find that your thoughts here dovetail nicely with some of mine. Thanks for writing this stuff. I like partying at your place!